Posts Tagged ‘New Year’

Living the life you choose

It is amazing how many people live day to day, unhappy, unfulfilled, wishing their life was different. As we once again enter a new year it is time for renewal, to take the steps to make the changes to live a life fulfilled.

It took a nasty divorce, losing everything, a year of wandering to find my perfect life. 2013 ended totally screwed, I lost my beloved brother-in-law and sister within 3 short weeks of each other. Still, I live a life of my own choosing, volunteering as an Oregon Park Host and working as a Direct Support Professional for developmentally disabled folks. I changed my life from the pursuit of the almighty dollar to pursuit of making other peoples lives better. And I am fulfilled.

My heart, although broken with the losses, is still full. I know time will heal. I drove to Ecola State Park on Christmas Day – a place that fills my soul, stood at the edge of the cliff and gave thanks to the universe for my joy.

In this age of television, telling us what we need, blaring at us what we should look like, demanding that we spend our dollars to stave off aging, it is understandable why so many people feel less than their true worth.

I have been so greatly blessed to enjoy a body that works, a quick mind, a roof, a bed, food….. things that so many on earth do not have…. I am going to start the new year giving thanks for what I have, changing the things that suck and enjoying each day…… Happy New Year!

CathyCathyEdgar at Ecola

My Mother’s Garden

Mom’s vegetable and flower gardens grow along the banks of the Allegheny River in Pennsylvania. For many years they drove me crazy. Why? She would just let anything that took root grow, amid her tomatoes a stray poppy would bloom, crooked rows because something was growing and she wanted to see what would sprout. Flowering weeds that even the neighbors tease her about, struggling for life among the lettuce.

“Let it grow, I want to see what comes up.” A common mantra when I wanted to tidy the gardens and pull what I thought didn’t belong.

Mom raised 6 kids in a time when Moms stayed home and Dads went to work. We lived on a street with similar families, the Jones family had 9 kids, the Connors 12, the Rutkowskies had a small family with just 3. A yellow brick house on a red brick street. Simple rules, be home when the street lights come on, look both ways when crossing the street, don’t litter, treat adults with respect, take care of your neighbors, don’t take what is not yours, rules enforced by all the Moms.

Visiting this summer I noticed the vegetable garden, too much for an 80 year old woman to tend, overgrown and abandoned, fertile soil still producing cherry tomatoes and spinach enjoyed by the deer and other small herbivores. Century old apple, black walnut and pear trees dropping fruit she rakes for the animals to enjoy. Her flower gardens envelope the house, miniature roses, day lilies and daisies, poppies and flowering weeds allowed to grow, their deaths rejuvenating the soil for the next generation.

It has taken 54 years of life to understand my Mother, she raised her children just as her gardens, each individual, sprouting among humanity, different from the rest. We were given the necessities of life, food, sun, water, love. At times maybe a stick to hold us upright, just long enough to grow straight and develop roots to stand tall. We were fertilized with basic education, values that put people above things, and a clear understanding that we had to stand on our own two feet.

“Let them grow, I want to see what comes up.”

Cathy